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第四讲 巧妙遣词造句，实现升级策略
1(2014·高考新课标全国卷Ⅱ)一家英语报社向中学生征文,主题是“十年后的我”。请根据下列要点和你的畅想完成短文。1．家庭；2．工作；3．业余生活。注意：1.词数100左右；2．可以适当增加细节，以使行文连贯；3．开头语已为你写好。Ioftenimaginewhatmylifewillbelikeinthefuture._____________________________________________________
2满分作文：_______________________________________________wouldliketogiveanexcellentpictureofmyfuturelife(很好地描绘我未来的生活)intenyears.Tobeginwith(首先)，Iwillmakeeveryefforttotakegoodcareofmyfamily，especiallymyagedgrandfatherbecausehehas_________________________________________________①(奉献大部分生活养育两代人)．_________workisconcerned(就工作而言)，Iamdeterminedtobecomeafilm-maker②____________(那种情况下)，Ishalldirectmanygoodmoviesfortheaudience.Duringholidayseasons，IwillliveintheIoftenimaginewhatmylifewillbelikeinthefuture.devotedmostofhislifetobringinguptwogenerationsAsfarasInthatcase
3countryside，_________________________________________③(在那里空气新鲜，人们友善)．Iwillenjoysomanyinterestingactivities，____________(例如)fishing,swimmingandvisitingoldfriends.Suchwillbemyfuturelife，oneIhavebeen_____________④(梦想)．whereairisfreshandpeoplearefriendlysuchasdreamingof
4温馨提示1.巧用词汇，giveanexcellentpictureof，tobeginwith，devote...to；bringup；Asfarasworkisconcerned，inthatcase；suchas；dreamof2．①该句是一个含原因状语从句的复合句，逻辑严密，用词准确，语义连贯。②Asfaraswork...isconcerned的运用使句子紧凑。③定语从句的使用，符合评分标准对复杂句式的要求。④倒装句和定语从句巧妙结合，与首句相呼应，体现了语篇的完整性。
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6一、遣词方面：1．措辞要贴切具体试比较下面句子：一个人正在街上闲逛。Amaniswalkingdownthestreet.Amaniswanderingdownthestreet.通过比较可以看出，前一句不如后一句表达得具体、生动。一个词如果内涵越具体，那么在特定的场景中恰当地使用它,就会收到意想不到的效果。
72．要善于运用短语短语用得好，会给评卷老师留下深刻印象。例如：Whenhewasachild，hewantedtolearneverything.(普通)Whenhewasachild，hehadastrongappetite(胃口)forknowledge.(高级)二、造句方面：1．巧用非谓语动词运用非谓语动词，可使文句看起来更简洁，使语言更加丰富多彩，重点更加突出，增加文采。Icoveredmyears，tryingtokeepthenoiseout，butfailed.
82．巧用with复合结构“with＋名词/代词＋现在分词/过去分词/形容词/副词/介词”结构，常作伴随状语以增加被描绘内容的生动性和情感性，使文章读起来更简洁明了。试比较：Hesleptallthenightandthewindowwasopen.(一般)Hesleptallthenightwiththewindowopen.(高级)
93．巧用复合句评分标准中强调使用语法结构的数量和复杂性，鼓励考生尽量使用较复杂的结构，并且对由此产生的错误采取了宽容的态度。如果恰当运用各类从句，就会增加文章的亮点。SoonIbecameoneofthetopstudentsinmyclass，whichgreatlyincreasedmyconfidenceandgotmemotivated.(定语从句)
104．巧用倒装句、感叹句、强调句、虚拟语气句等使用这些句式可使文章化平淡为生动，加强语气，使评卷老师感受作者的强烈情感，起到升级文章的作用。DisappointedasIfeltattheshabbycampusandthepoorlyequippedclassroom，Ifoundtheteacherspatientandconsiderate.(倒装句)
115．巧用排比等句式如能运用一个个排比句、对偶句、不定式或短语，可使文章增色不少，会给评卷老师眼前一亮的感觉。Thepurposeoftheprogramistomakeourschoolmorebeautiful，tomaketheaircleanerandfresher，andtoturnourschoolintoabetterplaceforustostudyandlivein.
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14亮点词句：_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________fullofwarmth，loveandlaughter；showconcernfor；If；ismorelikelytobe；Otherwise；Meanwhile；aresureto；Since；playsaveryimportantrolein；itisupto；contributeto；Firstofall；paymoreattentionto；Besides；communicatewith；As；Ifwedoso
15Ⅱ.巧用遣词造句，升级下面文章留意一下我们的周边，可以发现陪读现象很普遍。请你根据以下要点写一篇短文，内容应包括：1．简要描述陪读现象；2．分析父母陪读的原因(2至3个)；3．发表你对此的看法。注意：1.词数：120～150；2．标题已给出，不计入总词数。
16ShouldOurParentsAccompanyUsinStudyingatSchool___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Inrecentyears，manyparentschoosetoaccompanytheirchildreninstudying，whichhasarousedawideconcern.Theseparentsarewillingtoleavetheirhometown，evenquittheirjobstofollowtheirchildrenintothecampus.Mostofthemrentanapartmentnearbysoastotakegoodcareoftheirchildren.
17_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Parentsconsideritnecessarytoofferabetterlivingconditiontotheirchildren.Meanwhile，itenablesthemtokeeptrackoftheirchildren’sacademicperformance.Nevertheless，whattheyhaveignoredisthatitwillgettheirkidsintothehabitofbeingdependent.Thus，theywillneverdeveloptheabilityofself-controlinthefuture.Trustleadstoindependence.Soitseemstomeparentsshouldcreateroomforchildren’sgrowthandstudyinordertoensuretheiroveralldevelopment.
